# It Feels Like the Influence of Domestic Feminist Extremism Has Entered a New Phase

The impact of extreme gender antagonism
has expanded from unmarried young people
to existing married families
Not only is it stopping many people from getting married
now it's starting to create problems in many already-married households

Take Jie Ge's blind date case as an example
The man earned money and turned everything over—typical Chengdu family model
Also a tradition from the 80s and 90s
Men with money go bad, so women control the finances
In the case, the man wanted to reclaim financial control, the woman refused, and they divorced
The man quickly found someone 9 years younger, the woman regretted and wanted to reconcile, but the man refused outright

What's most interesting is
that the woman didn't actually make major mistakes in the marriage
She simply refused to accept her husband reclaiming financial control
And women managing household finances is a tradition passed down from the last century
But the question is: why did her husband want to reclaim financial control?
The video didn't spell it out, but we all understand
This man probably scrolled through his phone constantly
Saw too many cases like Zhai Xinxin and Yan Dongping, got scared
He started thinking:
I worked so hard to earn this money and handed it all over
What if one day she turns on me? Won't I lose everything—money and person both?
He probably initially just wanted to adjust things to give himself some security
He didn't expect his wife to react so intensely
When his wife strongly opposed it, he got even more scared
Why are you so nervous about the money? Is there really a problem?
So they divorced

Why is this case so typical?
Because it illustrates a problem:
In the internet age, extreme cases get repeatedly circulated
Stories of wives taking advantage and screwing over husbands get repeatedly reinforced
This plants a seed in men's minds
That seed is called risk awareness
Before, when men got married, they aimed to build a life together
Now some men are treating marriage like a risk investment
Always thinking about how to mitigate risks

Once risk awareness becomes widespread, what are the consequences?
It spills over into those normally good ordinary families
The wives in those families might not be feminists at all
Just ordinary women living a straightforward life
But the problem is, her husband sees information every day saying all women are like this—watch out or you'll lose everything

What will he think?
He'll re-examine his marriage, re-evaluate his wife
He's not sure if his wife is that type of person, but he doesn't dare gamble either
For self-protection, he can only choose to reclaim financial control and manage the money himself

This creates the final consequence:
Either women lose the power to manage household finances
Or lose the entire household along with it
The woman in that case lost her home because she firmly refused

This is the price of extreme rhetoric
The ones paying the price aren't those shouting slogans
It's the silent majority of ordinary women

Why is this phenomenon exploding now?
It's heavily related to economic downturn
When the economy is good, the pie keeps growing
Men's income expectations are upward, earning more year over year
Back then, even if there were some conflicts, some unfairness in the household
Men tended to let it slide—forget it, as long as home is stable
Back then society was more tolerant of women because the money could make it up
But now with economic downturn, everything has completely changed
Income might not increase, might even decrease, work pressure is higher
Now every penny needs to be carefully budgeted
Asking men to unconditionally hand over earnings and unconditionally tolerate the way they used to
He can't do it anymore, he can't afford to anymore

I worked this hard, why should I hand it all over?
If something happens, is this little bit of money I've saved enough for anything?

Economic downturn directly changed the dynamics of gender relations
It made men more realistic, more calculating, more focused on risk control
The old method of demanding things from men based on attitude and shoulds doesn't work anymore
Men will counter-ask: what about me? Who guarantees my sense of security?

In a sense, this is forcing gender relations back to common sense
What is common sense? Rights and obligations should be equal, responsibilities should be shared
The old double standard feminists used—"I'm playing the victim card when it comes to obligations, but equality when it comes to rights"
In an economic downturn where everyone feels threatened, this is increasingly unworkable
Because no one wants to keep paying for this kind of double standard anymore

Of course, this process will definitely be painful
Many families will break up over this conflict
Many women will lose the trust and power that should belong to them because of the extreme behavior of a few
But from another angle,
this might also be society being forced to adjust
Forced toward a healthier, more sustainable model of gender relations

Who started the extreme gender antagonism topic trending online?
Mostly young women, or those flying the women's flag
They shouted first and loudest
"All men are potential perpetrators, marriage is patriarchal exploitation, independent women don't have children"
It's been flooding feeds for years
What were men doing back then? Most men didn't take it seriously
Either thought it was just online bickering, had nothing to do with them
Or thought, I never did those things, they're not talking about me
Some never even paid attention to these topics
Every day gaming, watching sports, making money, completely oblivious to women's arguments
This is called delayed awareness

By the time they woke up, this rhetoric had been circulating for years
Already influenced a huge number of people's worldviews, even started changing the rules of the dating market
When did they finally start waking up?
When these ideas started materializing, started affecting their actual lives
Like on blind dates finding women's demands getting higher and higher, conditions more and more harsh
Or in relationships finding partners using those internet talking points to make demands on them
Or like in that case, the man saw too many extreme cases and got scared, wanted to reclaim financial control
This is classic: you don't know pain until you get hit

Women might have already completed their worldview update
Men are still using old thinking to go about life
By the time you realize something's wrong, the game rules have already changed

Why does this happen?
One reason is men are taught from childhood to be magnanimous, don't argue with women, men need to take responsibility
This causes many men to avoid gender topics reflexively, thinking it's shameful to debate
The result is: don't speak up when you should, don't counter-argue when you should
By the time the other side controls the discourse, it's hard to reverse

Another reason is men's problem-solving approach is more practical
When many men face problems, their first instinct is how to solve it, not how to discuss it
Seeing extreme online rhetoric, their reaction is: forget it, I won't argue with them, worst case I just don't marry, I'm fine on my own
This kind of voting with your feet approach
Saves effort short-term, but long-term actually cedes the discourse space to others

Another reason is men really lack the kind of communal expression women have
Women have group chats with girlfriends, various communities, quickly form consensus and resonance when issues arise
Men? Most go it alone, carry their problems themselves
Rarely gather to discuss how our men's circumstances keep getting worse
This dispersed state means male collective consciousness forms slowly

But look at the last year or two—isn't the situation changing?
More and more men are speaking up
Starting to discuss bride prices, marriage law, asset risk
The fact that Jie Ge's blind date video went viral shows this discussion now has popular support
This is the catch-up period after delayed awareness

Economic downturn accelerated this process
When the economy was good, many issues could be covered up by money, men couldn't be bothered to calculate
Now it's bad, every penny has to be carefully managed
All those double standards that used to be tolerated, all that unfairness that was overlooked, now gets dragged out and re-calculated

This isn't men suddenly becoming petty, it's the environment forcing them to wake up
After this adjustment cycle, gender relations might enter a new state
What kind? More realistic, more calculating, and relatively more fair
That kind of one-sided demands, double standard schemes, will become increasingly difficult
Whether men demanding women do all housework or women using gender as an excuse to grab benefits, everything will be re-examined

This isn't necessarily bad
After all, truly healthy relationships aren't maintained by one side's tolerance
They're maintained when both sides feel it's fair and comfortable